New Year, New Beginnings

January 2000 was a roller coaster ride. I was separated with plans of divorce and living in a cottage at Gobles Grove (just outside of Port Elgin) with no insulation, much to my fathers' horror. It was the only place available that I could afford. It was also close enough that the kids could easily go between their Dad's house and mine. We agreed to share them equally so as not to deprive them of either parent. It was important that their lives be disrupted as little as possible. Basically, this meant that most of what they were used to would stay the same. The separation was a slow process for the sake of the kids. Although going between homes had to have been hard for them, it was the best we could do.

My son was six and the girls were eight and ten. They seemed to handle it really well with all things considered. Our time spent in the freezing-cold cottage was short - we left in March of the same year. Oddly it still remains one of their fondest memories.

We had a fireplace which I continuously fed wood into as most of the heat went up the chimney. It took a good roaring fire to keep us warm. I had promised the kids each their own room. The girls had mattresses on the floors and heaps of blankets to keep them warm. My son had a small bed which was also laden with warm blankets. The girls said it was like camping so it was fun.

During our first night in the cottage, we made S'mores over the fire and snuggled on the hearth rug. It was –20 degrees Celsius that night. After I tucked them in, I explained that if they got too cold to come out and sleep with me on the couch. Sleep was something I didn't do that night for numerous reasons but the main one was to keep the fire blazing for fear of freezing to death.

I was thankful for our busy schedule. Between working at Faye's Fancies and the gymnastics club, I wasn't really at the cottage much. I played badminton on Wednesday nights and the kids spent most of their time at school and the gym. We even went on Friday nights to the open gym just to fill in time. I looked forward to my Wednesday night at badminton. It was great exercise and a chance to be with friends. Around that time the club was hosting a tournament and I agreed to do the tournament schedule (which I knew nothing about). Thankfully an acquaintance came forward and offered to help me.

He arrived just after the dinner hour. He had hoped to get the job done so that he could make it to his Kinsmen meeting later on. When I asked him to come in he opened the door then stopped and stood silent in the doorway. The kids and I were finishing up our soup at the small, enamel table that once belonged to my grandmother. It fitted nicely between the kitchen and the living room and wasn't too far from the fireplace. After coaxing Mark in; introductions were made and we set to work. The scheduling took longer than expected and he missed his meeting.

Mark and I had known each other through badminton for a couple of years, so when I saw him the next Wednesday he didn't have any trouble sharing with me that he had never seen such a pathetic site It was like walking into a scene from Scrooge. I actually looked around for Tiny Tim.

He was laughing when he said it and then added that I really should find another place to live. I told him that the kids and I had to leave because the woman who rented the cottage to me wanted to move back in as soon as possible. He thought this sounded like a good thing. The cottage was not only cold but dark with seventies panelling. He said he would keep his eye open and let me know if he saw anything better.

My wish was granted. I had put it out to the universe that I needed a cozy, warm place to live. I wanted something nice that my kids would enjoy and could easily go back and forth between houses. The next week Mark came to badminton with a number for me to call. He indicated that a beautiful apartment with a marble fireplace, hardwood floors, and twelve-foot ceilings had just become available in his building.

As soon as Anthony put the sign on the lawn I asked if I could see it. When I saw the arches and the really great kitchen, I knew it would be good for you and your kids. The fireplace has your name written all over it.

Mark knew the owner of the Laverock House and he assured me that Anthony was a good man and very trustworthy. He also assured Anthony that my kids were good and wouldn't destroy his apartment. So, with all these good words put in and agreements made, I was set to move… again.

The first of March had us packed and ready. My emotions were scrambled with yet another move and more changes. I was thankful the kids were with their dad that week. One of my girlfriends helped me move a carload of some small things the night before moving day which was a great help. My parents, my sister and my brother showed up the next morning with a half-ton truck. It hadn't been long since the last move so most of the boxes were still packed. Loading went quickly. The move was done in just two trips using both the truck and my car. Unloading was even faster. Thankfully, Mark had come down from his apartment to give a hand.

While putting things in various rooms my Dad noticed that the girls only had mattresses. I told him I didn't' have beds for them yet. He said he knew a guy who could probably help with that and decided that it wouldn't be a problem. Well, Tammy baby, He said, I think it's time to go to lunch. Would you like that or do you want to get your place set up?

Mom intervened and said Yes, let's go to lunch, we girls will go in Tammy's car and you boys could go in the truck. You should invite Mark along.

With a nod and a wink, Dad followed mothers' instructions. My mom and sister climbed into my car and were giggling like a couple of school girls. Who is that guy, Tammy? He's kinda cute.

My mom had been looking at my sister and she didn't have the car door shut yet when she spoke. I wondered if Mark had heard her. Mom got the door closed and then looked at me and asked the question again. Still stunned from the move and wiping tears from eyes I answered He's a guy that I know from badminton. He's the one who told me about the apartment.

More giggling followed and my sister asked me if I thought he was cute.

I don't know. What are you two up to?

In unison, they answered Nothing.

With that, we were off to my parent's favourite lunch/breakfast spot in Southampton. The boys got there before us. Dad talked to his friend about beds for his granddaughters. A trade was made: beds in exchange for a ride in my parents' airplane. Perfect!

When we arrived they were already sitting at a table in the middle of the room patiently waiting for us. We were greeted by the owner with a smile and a nod as each of us passed by.

Mrs. Stewart to my mom Miss Stewart to my sister who had recently gone back to her maiden name, and then a pause as she looked at me, Mrs. Mark?

This caused more giggling from the peanut gallery with my mom answering, Not yet!

Bewildered, I followed my mom and sister into the bustling lunchroom.

It was full of men gossiping over the weekly news. It was busy in there, waitresses walked briskly from table to table carrying two pots of coffee just to keep up. A man and his wife passed behind my Dad saying Jeez Tom, you got the whole family in with ya today. Special occasion?

My Dad; sitting there with his arms folded across his chest, simply answered, Can a man not take his family out for lunch?

The wife smiled at my mom with mom nodding and beaming back. With the couple gone to find a table my parents then focused on our mini family gathering. They were thrilled to see me out of the cottage and into such a wonderful house. My mom piped up, Who cares that it's an apartment - you'd never know it. The kids have a yard, the kitchen is amazing, the bathroom is huge, and it's a great old house. They did a really nice job fixing it up.

Dad agreed with my mom. My brother was curious about the rent and after I told them that it was only $50 a month more than the cottage everyone's eyebrows went up in disbelief.

The weight of the day was starting to fall heavy on my shoulders. The waitress took our orders and I excused myself from the table in search of the Ladies' Room. Thankfully it was well away from the crowd. I needed to unwind my scrambled thoughts. The sheer joy of wishes being granted, and my family being such great support soon had me smiling despite the gushing tears. I was feeling very fortunate but also couldn't' help but cry. Why the tears I wondered while staring into the mirror? It was an old and mangled thing with the silver peeling away from the back. The glass was warped with age which gave my reflection a warbled and deformed appearance. An accurate reflection of my emotional self that day.

Before splashing cold water onto my puffy, bloodshot eyes, I told myself that I was going to be okay. I was going to have a wonderful life from now on. Reasonably convinced and composed I headed out into the bustling room and found my lunch waiting for me. My Dad leaned forward as I sat in the comfort of the big wooden armchair, Are you all right dear? It's been a bit of a day for you, eh?

I nodded and we kept to small talk. After lunch, we all headed back to my new apartment and everyone helped me unpack. Mark was the last to go. He offered to help me later with the hanging of pictures and any heavy lifting that might need to be done. I thanked him and with an exhausted nod, he headed up the stairs to the comforts of his apartment.

The yellow bricked Edwardian called the Laverock House contained five apartments with three sharing the same front entrance. A younger, single girl lived in the apartment directly above me with her door opening across from Mark's apartment at the top of the stairs. She seemed nice but not around very much.

I invited Mark down for tea one night. We talked about badminton and the fresh spring weather. The conversation drifted back to the events of my moving day. We laughed and talked about how weird it was. After some prompting, he confessed that he did hear my mom and sister giggling in the car. He had also heard the owner of the coffee shop address me as 'Mrs. Mark, which left a smile on his face. He then shared that he had been asked if he was a son-in-law with my Dad saying, Not that I know of unless my daughter is hiding something from me.

We asked each other about hobbies, hopes and dreams. Mine was of someday having a tearoom of my own one day. Mark also dreamed of owning his own business. He also wished to have his kids back living with him. His divorce was a nasty and haunting one which I remembered starting a couple of years before. As our conversation deepened. we realized that we had more in common than we thought possible. We talked about our passions for writing, camping and castles. Who would have thought that there would be someone out there who wanted to actually build a castle? And there we were dreaming about it together.

It was getting late so we said our goodbyes. He stood in front of the door and turned to look at me. Then with his hands held out from his sides, palms up, asked me if he could kiss me. I promptly melted into a puddle in the middle of my living room floor nodding yes. I was about to go numb with both fear and excitement when he came toward me and gave me an awkward quick peck on the lips. With that, he was out the door and up the steps in a flash.

I stood; sock feet on the hardwood floor, wondering what had just happened? Was I insane? I'd only been officially single for three months. I stood there reasoning with myself and decided that was not really true. I had officially separated three months before, but my marriage had actually been finished for years.